Awake Male Positively impacting lives through higher consciousness

Interesting topic. I'm curious to see where this one goes. I believe that Americans have such a messed up view of sexuality that both men and women have no idea what a healthy sexual relationship should look like.

I'm not quite sure what you are implying to the rooster scenario. I would agree that men do have an innate drive for sex more so than women. I'm not sure if you are saying that it is OK for men to sleep around because they have an animalistic sexual drive. If this is the case I would disagree. I feel that a monogamous relationship can be extremely sexual and fulfilling.

Don't get me wrong, I do indeed wonder what it would be like to be with another woman though I am not willing to sacrifice the strong emotional relationship I have created because I feel the need to experience other partners.

I would agree that it is important for a man not to suppress outside sexual stimuli such as admiring a beautiful woman, strip clubs, etc. This stimuli can produce sexual inspiration to please his woman at home. Especially in a long term monogamous relationship.

What I believe missing from the average American sex is connection. Sexual connection with each other, with themselves and connection with Spirit, God, Source or whatever you want to call it. The connection that tantra teaches.

I am interested to read others take on this topic.

I think pornography is a virus that has corrupted our sexuality, especially of men. all the Interent has done is make it more available.

I believe it is erroneous to put tantra and pornography together in the same bed. While my spiritual practice involves neither, my understanding is that in traditional tantric paths ritual sexual intercourse lies at the very end of a long, difficult, disciplined yogic path. On the other hand, pornographic indulgence seems to me to usually entail a lack of discipline, and is quick, easy gratification. It does not liberate (which is the goal of true tantra), but it produces bondage and addiction. I base this on my own personal experience.

My understanding of tantra is very limited, but I read briefly of it in the 2010 book "The Story of Yoga in America - The Subtle Body", by Stefanie Syman. I think that American tantrism has evolved into something different that traditional tantra, which is perhaps the version of tantra that our sister Esther has in mind.

I feel I owe an apology for the lengthy and run-on style verbiage, looking at the topic now I can see I was not as clear as I could have been on my points.  

While I do not agree that it is erronious to put tantra and pornography in the same bed, I completely agree that there is very different energetic level based entirely on the intention of the participants. I agree with your statement, Ed, that it has become something completely different as a rule than the sacred Yoga limb.  Few 'strippers' see themselves as the tantric priestesses they could be, however even without this awareness I have seen them bless the men and women who come to see them.

Sadly, because societies have not Valued tantric energy it has become this form.  It is not separate, it is the way we have allowed it to evolve by being resistant as a culture to sexuality and making it 'bad'.  Tantra is found with a band like the Beatles or Rolling Stones with the power and connection they have to each other.  It's found with a mother and child.  It is, rightfully stated, as a connective energy and awareness.

There are effective uses of tantra and ineffective uses of tantra.  I can state this with confidence because of the true tantric work I've done with clients (prior civilizations would call suppliants) such as return soldiers full of anger (softening their energy to be able to be in the civilian world), recently divorced, cheated on, or widowed men, and I have a note written on 3 napkins which I will keep forever written by a man in his mid-twenties five years ago when he decided instead of going home and killing himself that he would write a song about his experience with me and how it shifted his perspective of his life and inspired him to use it instead of end it. This sort of experience gives me a feeling of purpose and desire to inspire.

I agree that the WAY women (and men) are portrayed for the purpose of this healthy sexuality I'm hoping for in our world is anything but healthy, ie. pornography.  I also agree that, for many men (and women) the magazines and videos available are used as an escape and a method of becoming self-involved rather than the creative energy that sexuality is designed to create and share.  My hope, actually, is for reform of this industry so it can have a positive effect rather than negative.

Todd, no I am NOT condoning infidelity.  I do believe it answers why men can have multiple wives but it's different for woman with multiple men.  We're just not wired that way.  Men are.  

My point is, if a man were on a deserted island with one woman over time their sexual polarity to each other (sexual interactions) would become less passionate rather than more passionate, unless the male either took a good deal of time on his own in nature (the Feminine) so his chemical energetics can 'right themselves' to a masculine polarity again or another woman were introduced to the island.  It does not have to be a physical woman, and she does not have to be naked, or even interact much. So, for committed monogomous men who don't understand the fulfillment they might find in nature, etc. there is a level of sanity and confidence that is maintained by having availability of basic feminine energy to repolarize themselves in our communities of confused sexuality.  I believe this process is what keeps the masculine from becoming too aggressive, just as the masculine supports the feminine in not being too wishy-washy.

Women/femininity is an inspirational force on earth inspiring us to love and shift to love more.  

Men/masculine energy is a forward moving, active force that is able to focus and make things happen.  

We are all a mix of these energies, and it's up to us to 'marry them' within ourselves. I only wish that the men and women who frequent and work at these places understand the sacred work this Could be, and stop the shame about the beautiful aspects of humanity involved with the expressions of sensuality.  I also would like to see the many committed relationships on the planet embracing tantra in their relationships, I believe we would have stronger families and far less aggressive crime.

Ed, very well said. One (pornography) being a lack of discipline or dis-empowering. The other (tantra) being liberating or empowering.

Esther, thank you for bring up this topic. Unfortunately this is a controversial talk for most Americans and the most needed to hear.

Sex, to me, should be a beautiful, connecting and spiritual experience of an energy exchange. This is where I have experienced the best sex. The other type of sex (where I am simply looking to fulfill my own sexual need to "release") has been the least satisfying. 

i really enjoyed reading everyones opinions on this subject.

i believe that alot of pornography is not sacred at all and its a mystery to me that certain people can really enjoy and get off on it. And everyone is different with what turns them on and what kind of needs they have. There is a great demand for this kind of entertainment and to each their own. The idea of polarizing the sexual energy is an interesting idea. This energy especially in males is quite potent and i agree that its a good thing to bring that forward to share with someone or just release it.

i think that all males have this energy that you were talking about Esther, to always desire more than just one partner. Whether it may be a fantasy or something that someone really goes for, this energy has come out it different ways in humanity from polygamy to the swingers mentality. Then it comes to the fact about attachments, how attached are you to your significant other? some people can have many different partners and still have a healthy relationship with one specific person. Personally i am a very monogamous person and seeing my girlfriend with someone else would be painful and hard to take because of my attachments to them.

Ive found that you can love many different people and still be with one person. Your love has no boundaries and it goes wherever your heart leads, sometimes you can't just change your feelings for someone. And love and sexual energies have many different forms that are tangible and intangible.

i think pornograhy is awesome, just my 2 cents :)

Yeah this is a hot topic.  It took me a while to realize why many of us guys actually use porn.  If you pay close attention to porn, the energy of it is actually one of sadness and grief. 

In our culture it is very hard for a man to allow himself to fully grieve anything.  We are often taught to "be a man" and "tough it out" by rejecting our emotions, but what happens is all those repressed feelings becomes stuck in our body, and porn offers a false way to process this energy block. 

For guys at a certain level porn can be helpful for them to get to the next stage in their life, but if they hang out there too long, masturbating excessively to it, they will end up drained and depressed, and completely split off from their body. 

The origins of many of these issues of sex relate to our mistaken interpretation of the book of Genesis in which sin, the feminine, and sex are presented as wrong.  In our western view, we equate things of the earth as "dirt-y".  Sex is very much of the body, of the earth, and is in fact a very powerful spiritual process. 

In Taoism, for example, there is Heaven and Earth, but in Christianity we have Heaven and Hell.  It's as if the earth is regarded as this unsacred place, and nature (and the feminine) as something bad, but in reality it's just not like that.

Nature gives us a template, and the template of sexuality has a simple goal - procreation and propegation of the species.  That template is only our foundation - once we start to bring consciousness to this part of us, we evolve it into a higher form. 

Instead of just propagating our own genes, we end up connecting with our fellow human beings and sexual energy becomes the driver for propegating our entire human population's well-being.

The urge to have sex with every female out there becomes an urge to bless every female we come in contact with, with our zest for life. 

If we judge the sexual urge, we never move beyond the primal state of it.  Once we can accept the primalness of it, we then begin the process of transforming it into a new form, unique to ourself, that blesses the world and everyone we know. 

Traditionally this process is known as Alchemy, or Sublimation.  It's quite a fun path once you start to get a taste of it. 

Ryan, this was a very interesting statement you made.

"The urge to have sex with every female out there becomes an urge to bless every female we come in contact with, with our zest for life."

I can understand and appreciate that comment. However, its seems as though very few can comprehend what you have just said.

For example, the other day I had a great conversation with a fellow female co-worker. She was upset on how another female was dressed. She was dressed very well, sexy and displaying a fair amount of cleavage. She saw it as a bit slutty and that she was going to attract the wrong type of man.

I saw that she was a confident, strong and assertive woman who knew exactly who she was and was not afraid to express her sensuality with everyone. For me she would not attract the wrong type of man rather manifest an equally strong and powerful lover.

The co-worker and I agreed to disagree. She said that I was not a typical man and didn't understand. I thanked her for calling me a non typical man and we moved on.  

I'm not sure exactly where I am going with this, though I find it fascinating that two different perspectives can be formulated through the exact same circumstance bringing up this question.

How do we shift our (societies) way of thinking about sex from being a dirty, nasty thing to a spiritual, empowering union of two people?

In judging others, we are expressing our own limitations. 

I do it all the time, I will judge people that have released ebooks or video trainings and criticism shortcomings about them, but what is really happening is that I am trying to impose the limitations from my own psyche onto other people.  "If I am limited by this belief, then they should too".

Then when those other people act without being limited by negative beliefs, I feel very uncomfortable because it shows that my way might not be that right after all.

The best way to free others is to be an example of freedom, rather than trying to teach it or impose it on others.

Women love to buy those US Weekly/People magazines at the checkout in the grocery store, since its all about nit-picking the celebrity people.  Since the celebs are the high and mighty of the status food chain, by picking at them, the people reading get to temporarily ease their insecurities and anxieties. 

This process isn't bad or wrong, it's natural.  Being human is to have all this stuff going on within us.  For most people though, its in our unconscious, and so we act this stuff out without being aware of it. 

So when a beautiful woman walks by, a woman that has not yet claimed her confidence and sexuality (as you said in your example) will feel very uncomfortable since all the blocks on her own confidence and sexually are being challenged. 

As for shifting our view of sex, I'm still figuring that one out.

I think a large part of it here in the west is to reconnect with the earth, our body, and our unconscious mind, while at the same time not throwing away our technology or other masculine gifts. 

For me, it's been through the emotions, since the emotions give us direct access to our unconscious mind.  Every time an emotion comes up, use a techniques to clear it, or at least learn to be with that emotion (techniques such as eft, tat, etc). 

By integrating the emotion, we unlock a piece of our unconscious mind and are able to come into our body more.  Then the sexual experience becomes more enjoyable because we have started to make peace with the body, and more fully inhabit it.